Much of last summer, my backyard was being torn in preparation for installing a new septic system or populated by a number of construction vehicles. In autumn, the system has been installed, but the court like a barren desert. There was little or no grass left. Small trees have been cleared, well-established roots had been sheared or left exposed. Hydroseeding occurred in late October, but the bitter cold left little hope of something germination.

Time passed, and with the spring rains, to my surprise, the beige ground made the slightest shade of green. This afternoon, the shoots of grass has thickened enough to warrant the attention of a lawn mower. In preparation for cutting the beginning of a new lawn, I needed to clear branches, tree roots, piles of rocks and debris of any matter left from last year's draft.

As I was walking in the yard throwing dangerous objects at the blade of the mower in my wheelbarrow, I could not help but see parallels between him and the events in my life. Last year, pending release of a toxic marriage, my life as I knew it was demolished in the same way the court that I knew it was sprayed. I could not see anything remotely be as familiar. This year, I have my divorce and my piece by piece to rebuild a life for my children and myself. The court has also begun to recover from trauma. There are many remaining fragments as evidence of what happened, tree roots and stone chips with many layers of earth dislodged and returned, but the barren landscape also makes new discoveries. In addition to thickening the grass, I noticed extraordinary rock samples for my children to study with all modes of mica streaks complex. There are branches that were easy to clear, and the exposed roots lodged too deep for removal. As background gained experience, the lessons are easy to treat. Some scars run so deep they will never heal completely, but they are reminders of previously untapped capabilities.

What I found most remarkable of all, however, was the discovery of a single strawberry plant bearing fruit still in the grass. This was one of twelve sites of departure, I installed in a garden of the year preceding the birth of my oldest child. I remember taking him out early summer morning in search of berries for his cereal. He toddled browse on plants for berries, while I waddled with my second child, laughing behind his chubby fingers inadvertently crashed his find. Over the years the garden had been neglected and slowly ran wild plants. To begin construction last summer, trucks literally rolled right over this area. What was not dug up was buried under the soil of other parts of the court. Still, the rest of origin of life and I knew remained borne fruit.

Experience inevitably reshapes us. Despite the difficulty of change, loss or simply the passage of time, we realize every stage of life to a piece of the strength of our experiences. There are days that feel like nothing more than collecting a bunch of pain, but there are also days of completion. These days we fuel after the crisis, which inspires us to continue.

blessings

Catie

Copyright 2004 WomanLinks.com

About the Author: Catie Hayes is founder and editor of WomanLinks.com, a community of support, spirituality, growth and empowerment of women. She is a freelance writer, the single mother of two homeschooling, and a big fan of laughter, spontaneous dancing, cats and chocolate (not necessarily in that order) .0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000